


Regular Tuesday

by ImproperDancer



Series: D&D Original Characters - College AU [4]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Basic Bitch Squad, College AU, D&D, Drow, F/M, coffee shop AU, yuan-ti pureblood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-25 21:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18269462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImproperDancer/pseuds/ImproperDancer
Summary: It's a Tuesday morning in the coffee shop down the road from the campus. Issy and Kol are both irresponsibly hungover and attempting to alleviate their suffering with caffeine, each with varying degrees of success.





	1. Morning Coffee

“Caramel and vanilla frappuccino with skimmed milk and cream, extra shot of espresso.”

The barista placed the clear plastic cup on the counter, water dripping down the sides from the condensation from the chilled drink inside. Issahu delicately approached the counter and retrieved her order, grabbing a straw from the side as she returned to the oversized armchair she had been sitting in.

She took one long gulp of her caffeinated elixir and sighed with immense relief, sinking further into the plush fabric as she crossed her legs and continued to sip her drink, cup in one hand as she held the straw primly with the other.

She glanced to the Drow sitting across the small table from her in his own ludicrously plush chair. She could see the smirk on his smug face as he looked at her, eyes peeking over his phone with his own sunglasses lowered on his nose.

“I do not want to hear a word of it” Issahu muttered, eyes shooting dagger at Kol from behind the large Chanel sunglasses she wore “Not a word.”

Kol chuckled, picking up his black coffee which contained at least six different shots of whatever the barista was willing to put in there from the table and taking a delicate sip, placing his phone down on the table “I wouldn’t dream of it, Issy my love.”

Issy knew he couldn’t see the look she was giving him but with his voice dripping with such over-emphasised civility she also knew he was very aware of the look she was giving him.

“After all” Kol continued, leaning back into his chair and adjusting his Ray-Ban sunglasses back into place “It would be terribly cruel of me to remind you of how much wine you consumed last night.”

Issy moaned as she sipped her drink, the very memory of wine being enough to cause her body more physical pain than she was already feeling. Her stomach was churning, her head felt as though it was a half-filled bag of Lego and her muscles screamed and yelled with every movement. Truly, she was hungover on such a cataclysmic level she doesn’t know how she was even woke up in the same Plane of existence this morning let along climb out of bed for school.

Kol chuckled but this time it contained an iota of what could have possibly been interpreted as pity “My darling you really need to learn to handle your booze better.”

“You need to learn to shut your face” Issy grumbled, her hangover causing her words to slur a little more than usual as her French accent struggled slightly to parse her words “You’re lack of a hangover is not an invitation to mock mine.”

“Oh my dearest and most precious Issy, I am hanging out of my ass” Kol announced, taking another sip of his coffee “I just have the noble and exquisite ability to ignore it and be my impeccable self. No hangover can stop this” he flourished a hand to gesture to himself as he spoke, returning his hand to rest under his chin as he gave Issy his trademark smug grin.

Issy simply made an insolent face, mostly covered by her excessively large sunglasses, and stuck out a forked-tongue at Kol as she continued to sip on her drink which was helping her manage the effects of her rather intense hangover. Her sunglasses kept the harsh light of the day at bay and, perhaps the most obvious indicator of her current physical state, her leggings ensured that she was going to be as comfortable as absolutely possible at any given time.

Groaning a little as she sat up in her chair, putting her now half full drink on the table, Issy leaned forward a little, looking to Kol over the rim of her sunglasses, her piercing, yellow, snake-like eyes wincing a little at the light “When do we have to leave to get to class?”

Kol raised an eyebrow and collected his phone off the table “About ten minutes ago.”

“Perfect timing” Issy took a small breath and stood up, a little undignified at how much effort that took, “Come on baby, let’s go so we can make a suitably dramatic entrance and probably detention.”

“Right behind you, sweetheart” Kol said before downing the rest of his complicated coffee and flipping his hood up, following Issy out the café as she walked out, still sipping her drink.


	2. Lunch Dramatics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kol and Issy have met up with Windsor, who is also suffering a hangover from their drinking session, and Talon who is waiting for Tris to come along. Issy is a drama queen, Kol is a bitch, Windsor reprimands Talon and Talon is, well, Talon.

“The unceasing approach of death withers the essence of my physical prison and does nought but supplement the strife I suffer upon this mortal coil.”

“Is she hungover again?” Talon asked incredulously.

Issy lay completely and entirely on the cafeteria table, her friends doing their best to eat their lunch around her. She lay with an arm over her face, sunglasses held in her other hand which was draped across Kol’s shoulders as he attempted to eat his food.

“I feel my end near, dear friends” Issy continued, occasionally with a flourish of her hand for dramatic effect “I can feel my body crumble and shatter as my soul yearns to ascend from this wretched plane.”

“Red wine” Kol announced between bites of his fries, “Buckets of it. Windsor’s parents were away last night so we were over at his with Icarus and Jay’lynn for a drink or seven.”

“What? Why wasn’t I invited?” Talon whined, looking to Windsor who sat beside him. Windsor was very, very delicately eating his own lunch and wearing impossibly dark sunglasses with his long golden hair tied back – an obvious give away for his current hungover state to those who knew him.

“Because, my darling Talon” Windsor started, speaking a little slowly “The last time you drank wine at my house you got absolutely tanked on a $10 bottle of vodka you pulled from _somewhere_ , you then drank a $500 Chateau Rauzan-Segla, which I think you remarked tasted like warm piss, and proceeded to fill the empty bottle with Ribena and put back in my parents’ cellar.”

Windsor turned his head, cocking it back a little to look at Talon, pulling his sunglasses down slightly with one hand to give Talon a casual but firm leer “So unless you happen to have $500 in that ratty jacket I think you’re gonna miss the next couple of invites.”

Kol and Issy gave a chuckle, Issy letting out a quiet “Ow” as she did, and Windsor returned to half-heartedly eating his meal. Talon grumbled and muttered something to the effect of “It did taste like warm piss” under his breath.

“I cannot help but notice the attention has shifted away from me” Issy stated, propping herself on her elbows, removing an arm from Kol’s shoulders “Which I find to be in the worst of tastes when I am trying to monologue the end of my life.”

“Take some Alka-Seltzer and you’ll be fine, darling” Windsor said, patting Issy’s thigh in a vaguely condescending manner.

“I’ve already taken six and I think if I take any more I’ll end up in rehab” Issy replied, looking around the cafeteria.

The college cafeteria was reasonably full, as it tended to be during the week. Although Issy and Kol would usually have lunch elsewhere with a little more refined selection of food on offer, today they didn’t feel like they could keep up a façade long enough to look like functioning members of society. As it were, they texted Windsor who agreed with this sentiment and so they met up with Talon while he waited for Tris to finish his class.

“Kol, tell my story when I finally pass” Issy said with a heavy sigh as she lay back down on the table, at this stage garnering more than a few looks from neighbouring tables.

“That you sucked dick, ate pussy and drank enough wine to drown a whale?” Kol asked, giving Talon and Windsor a smirk and wink as he spoke. They both chuckled quietly, looking to Issy.

“Sucked dick, ate pussy and drank enough _fine wine_ to drown a _kraken_ ” she replied without looking up “That’s my legacy.”

Her three friends gave a laugh, Windsor trying not to choke on the bite he had just taken, as Kol raised a water bottle, holding it up over Issy’s laid out form.

“To our beloved Issahu, she who sucked dick, ate pussy and drank enough fine wine to drown a kraken, praise be.”

“Praise be” Windsor and Talon replied in unison, raising their own bottles and tapping them against Kol’s in a mock toast.

“Praise be” Issy called with a smile, raising her arms to bask in the light applause her friends gave.


	3. End of the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Issy and Kol survived to the end of day as they walk off campus, witnessing a small spark of chaos from Ril & Sera before they make their evening plans.

The front doors of the building burst open, the figures of a hooded Drow and wild-haired Gnome dashing away as fast they could. The sound caught Issy’s attention as she walked through the campus and she paused to see what the commotion was about.

She could see Ril and Sera sprinting away from the arts building as fast as they could, Sera loudly cackling. A few seconds later she could hear the yelling from the inside the building louden as an amusingly multi-coloured professor came out of the entrance.

“I will see you two MONSTERS tomorrow morning in my office!!” the tall human yelled, who upon further inspection was head-to-toe covered in about six different coats of what could only be powdered paint as far as Issy could tell. She giggled to herself as Ril and Sera bolted past her, Ril giving her a ‘party’ sign and Sera throwing her head back in raucous laughter.

“What in Lolth's name did I miss?” Kol’s voice came from behind. Issy turned around and saw the all-black clothed Drow narrowly miss a collision with the two terrors who continued to flee the scene of their apparent crime.

Issy gave an amused smile and linked an arm with Kol “It appears that Ril and Sera have caused some more chaos, one of the art professors was just yelling at them while doing this best impression of a rainbow.”

Kol nodded and a smile crept across his face “That sounds about right for them, I’d like to claim that we Drow are a refined and sophisticated bunch but Ril, bless her little heart, does a sound job of throwing that right out the window.”

Issy gave an indelicate snort “Please, Kol, I’ve seen how ‘refined’ and ‘sophisticated’ you can be after one sip of wine and watching the blue Dragonborn walk by.”

Kol’s head snapped to look at Issy, his eyes burning behind the sunglasses she assumed, but his mouth just opened and closed silently for a moment before Issy continued “Oh don’t give me that, you’ve watched me practically malfunction more than once with that exceptionally muscular red head.”

At that, Kol seemed to be somewhat placated as he gave a thoughtful shrug and a nod “That’s fair. But I’m still the most refined and sophisticated Drow you know.”

Issy patted Kol’s arm “Absolutely, my dear. You’re just lucky Windsor isn’t a Drow.”

“You know, that’s fair. Have you shaken off your hangover yet?”

Issy made something of a mildly disgusted face and gave a ‘so-so’ wiggle of her hand.

“So you won’t be coming with me to the wine bar then?” Kol asked, his tone taking a very leading manner.

“I didn’t say that” Issy replied quickly “I just may need to stick to spritzers.”

“Good enough for me, babe” Kol chirped, reaching into his pocket to take out his phone as they came to where the campus met the main road “I’ll order an Uber and we can continue to drown our woes.”

“I’ll shoot a text in the group chat” Issy said, taking out her own phone as she sat up on the low wall that skirted the campus grounds “I haven’t seen Icarus all day today which means there’s tea to be had.”

“Hungover in the morning with a Starbucks, a dramatic declaration of your drinking skills and deviancy, and spilling tea over some wine to top off the day” Kol narrated aloud as he tapped away on his phone “Just another regular Tuesday.”


End file.
